If you ever wondered why you haven’t been accomplishing as much as you intend, wish, desire to accomplish, that quote should be your guide: Whenever there is a gap between your habits and your goals, your habits will always win.
What habits are we talking about? Interestingly, here, we are mostly interested in the how, instead of the what habits.
I have students who seemingly do the right things… but their results fall way behind what the effort would suggest.
The reason is in the how…
How you do anything is how you do everything.
Some people’s how is “I know”, self-certainty. Whatever they touch turns into naught or sh*t, depending on the nature of the thing.
You can see their ‘how’ if you have eyes to see. They, themselves, can’t see it.
Here are a few examples:
- This person needs to be the smart one… or they are ‘worthless’, so they act as if they were smart, although their knowledge is missing, not necessarily the smarts. They never ask questions. They do the same things over and over, expecting a different result, even though if they asked, they could find out that they are barking up at the wrong tree.
- The opposite is the person who needs to be perfect… or they are ‘as good as dead’. So they ask a whole lot of questions, even though a lot of those questions they can answer with some research and some self-confidence.
- Another person says: If I am slow then I am not somebody… so they hurry… hurry around all the things an implementer, a truly successful person, a ‘somebody’ would do… and jump to the last step, and of course they fail.
- Yet another person say: I am valuable… look how many rocks I have carted away from our driveway… and look how tired I am… and are surprised that they don’t get valued for the wonderful person they are…
- Here is another ‘how’… needy. Needy and whiny… they almost always go together. Whatever they need or whine for or against doesn’t matter, it just needs to go the same way. You get what…