Sophie Benshitta Maven
6 min readApr 22, 2018


I am a watcher. I watch people… I keep a tab on them. I am like a watchdog.

I watch about 30 people. Why? I keep my finger on the pulse of the world this way.

One of these people has been my hero for about a decade. I won’t say his name.

Recently he got married. His vibration promptly dropped 120 points. His reality is now shaped by the new wife and her speaking.

Interestingly while they just lived together, she held her tongue. But once there was a ring on her finger, she started to talk.

What alerted me is the sharp change in his business behavior, in the new way he runs his business. He has gone from hard working, high vibration, high dynamic behavior to someone playing with his kaka. Playing small. Not inspiring to me. If he continues this way, he will have no business.

In this article I will look at this phenomenon… It is not rare, in fact every time someone forms a new alliance, they change… and so far they mostly change to less. I’ll help you look at the principle.

One of the most important sentences for my personal evolution has been: Every speaking is committing.

The Communication Course leader who said that 30 years ago, mis-spoke from time to time… she complained, or passed an opinion. Then she caught herself, and said: Universe, please cancel that!

She said that every speaking puts a lie (a promise a commitment is a lie until you fulfill on it!) in the Universe. It is your job to deliver on it…

Yesterday’s article, maybe, didn’t make sense, but with this addition, I hope I can round it out, so it can become one of the most important articles in your personal evolution.

If every speaking is committing, then every speaking that says “it is”, “I am”, “I want”, “I need”, are commitments you send out into the universe. These are declaration, commitments.

You speak this way, unsuspecting then watch life turn into crap: your integrity plummet. You didn’t know that every speaking is committing.

You didn’t mean it as commitment, thinking that commitment needs to be conscious and intentional.

But the Witness, and the Self is watching on the inside hears every speaking as commitment.

One moment you say “I am miserable”, the other moment you say “I want to be happy”, or “I am stupid”, or “I can’t.” Or “I need to do this and this and have that and that, before I can be happy.”

We all have two selves inside, the one that listens is increasingly confused.

Integrity is the relationship between the two selves. If it works, your life works. If the two selves in harmony with each other, you are at peace with the world, you like yourself, and you love your life.

But when I measure people’s integrity, it is less than 10%. You are not at peace with yourself. You don’t like yourself. And your life doesn’t work.

60% of this misery is caused by this sloppy speaking. The words that slip through your mouth. I am so miserable! I am tired! I can’t! I want to be happy! Baaah, baaah, baaah.

Which means that only 40% of the unworkability comes from other aspects of violating your integrity, sloppy work, cutting corners, disempowering context. You lying. You stealing. You not being true to yourself.

Every time you speak, there is yet another lie out in the universe.

Some people lie more than others. Some people are more unaware than others.

I think you can see that T. Harv Eker’s single most valuable sentence really applies to this area.

He said: Whenever life doesn’t work, there is something you don’t know.

Yet, you behave as if you knew pretty much everything, don’t you?

You, your parents, your peers, everyone speaks as if speaking were cheap. You are thoughtless, and casual with your word, and then you are surprised that life doesn’t work.

Remember the three umpires and their answer to the question: how do you call ball or strike? the rookie says: I call it the way it is. The journeyman says: I call it the way I see it. The seasoned umpire say: “It ain’t nothing till I call it”

For the rookie to become a journeyman, he would need to say: It ain’t necessarily so. To soften the rigid “is-ness” of the thing. Maybe yes, maybe no.

The biggest jump is between journeyman and seasoned umpire.

This jump involves an evolutionary shift that involves responsibility and integrity.

When you are wholly conscious that you have no idea about reality… but you can create it.

Schroediger’s cat will be dead if you say so, and will be alive, if you say so.

You create life, you create reality as you go about life, with your word. Every word.

Your children learn reality from you, and you are building a reality for them that makes them limited, and miserable.

In my coaching the enemy I fight is that reality your parents created and create for you… your peers maintain for you… your stupid internet memes create and maintain for you… It’s not enough that you change your speaking pattern!

Everything you hear and hear as the truth is also speaking that creates reality. Lots of speaking, lots of reality.

You need to protect your reality, the reality you create. Physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual reality.

Yesterday I measured the Starting Point Measurements of a woman. Then we got on the phone. In the hour between setting up the call and actually talking, and then during the hour long call, her vibration dropped 80 points.

She spoke herself into a ditch. She intended to inform me, give me an accurate picture, etc. about what she was dealing with, and with her speaking she made it her reality… An hour earlier it wasn’t… An hour earlier she was an amazing person… until she opened her mouth.

Beware… you need to learn to manage your speaking, manage your headspace… Most people speak like rookie umpires.

And you’ll find yourself like my one-time hero. In the ditch.

PS: As I was looking for images for this article, I was again shown what mainstream people teach you.

They say it’s your thoughts that create reality. But your thoughts are in Plato’s Cave, in the mind. So they can only create the imaginary reality.

You want to create your reality? Only your spoken words do that. Your thoughts don’t… until you put them on loudspeaker, until you honor them as your own speaking.

The Amish Horse Training Method is to desensitize your self to the voices in your head, you call your thoughts. They are NOT your thoughts… and you can safely ignore them.

On the other hand, what comes out of your mouth, unless you cancel it, will shape your reality, out there… where it matters.

Read more from Sophie Benshitta Maven at The Empath’s guide to getting well and raising your vibration



Sophie Benshitta Maven

Publish at Raise your vibration true empath, coach, publisher, mad scientist, living a life that is worth living