I can’t handle it

https://evp-50116959de4b9-dd521b5ed563ee25508422182c681a30.s3.amazonaws.com/58709.mp3

I can’t handle it

Yesterday in the growth workshop I decided to look at my relationship to money. I have been trying to crack this tough nut for many years: in every business I have had everyone said I was sitting on a big mountain of money… but not actualizing much of it.

So I set out to work on money… Asking: how come I don’t make as much money as I could… with what I have…

Of course I am the course leader, so I don’t have time to deal with my own sh-it, but now it is on the sheet… documented, and the table.

After the webinar I did some busy work, watched some old private eye show… went to bed, and fell asleep. I didn’t even want to do the healing work I was supposed to do… it seemed every fiber of my being wanted to not be conscious… sleep, blessed sleep.

At 2 am I woke up to feverish activity in the mind… it was so feverish and so insistent, I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I got up, got dressed. I made a cup of tea, sat down, and pondered.

I could hear a faint voice in my head, no, in my body: I can’t handle it.