Last night I spent a lot of time looking at a deluge of memories of things I’ve done that I am ashamed of
I just slashed my finger for the third time this morning. I will have a hard time muscle testing for a bit… Here is what happened:
Last night in bed I spent a lot of time looking at a deluge of memories of things I did that I am ashamed of.
They came, vividly, fast and furious, things I have long forgotten, things I am not proud of.
I resisted the temptation to explain them away, I resisted turning away. I resisted saying they are wrong.
I felt like my students when they say “there is nothing wrong in reality” and they struggle to make it so for themselves emotionally. But I succeeded and I slept long and peacefully… I got all that stuff out of my system.
I didn’t mean to write about it today, but then again: I have to.
Why? Because almost everything that ever happened to us that we call wrong was co-creative: we participated in it to make it wrong. Either by saying: it is wrong, or actually making it wrong.
Yesterday I gave a harsh feedback to two of my students with the hardest soul correction, the soul correction that has only one move: make things, people, wrong.
If I ever want to take them to the Promised Land, I need to help them unsay those wrongs… You can’t take anything that is wrong with you to the Promised Land.
There is an emotional investment in dealing with the so-called wrongs, depending on your soul correction.
If you say that “they” were not wrong, then you’ll need to deal with the inevitable guilt: you are, you were the perpetrator.
Unless you are a psychopath who can’t feel guilty, you’ll feel guilt, shame, and unless ultimately take responsibility, it will poison your life, your children’s life.
I have had clients quit, because I brought up, instinctively, the kinds of things they did that people tend to feel guilty about. Instead of facing the tiger, they quit. It’s a lot like…