Principle guided life… OK… but what principles will make you happy?

When I wrote the article about racial, ancestral identity and its importance, I touched on something that is not valuable for most people… because I didn’t go deep enough and I didn’t accurately identify what it takes to be proud of who you are, where you belong.

I got on the phone with one of the people who was very unhappy about that article… I was eager to talk, because it is near impossible to go beyond the visible by yourself. It is a whole lot easier when you get input… because what is invisible to you can be visible for another.

The conversation was fruitful… And the insight to me was: it is not virtues, it is principles that form the basis of a happy life… I will elaborate…

Being an empath, my conversations with you happen on many different levels.

  • One level is the words. You live there.
  • The second level is feeling what somebody does with the words… this is the emotions… you experience that and I feel it from you.
  • The third level is the sensations… the guidance… The Tree of Life. …and this is where you want to live, because this is where life is clean, clear, and happy. And obviously I feel those sensations you feel. That is what a True Empath is trained to do.

So when we are having a conversation, I know when I say something that makes you jump into your head and the wheels are turning, and they are churning a lot of water, but the answer you are seeking is not there… I know it is not there… Because if it were there, you wouldn’t have to do all that thinking.

So in my conversation, yesterday, I saw that creating a principle, 1 a guidance of behavior and thinking will be very useful for most people:

  • When someone speaks and you go into your head… because you can’t understand what was being said, instead of trying to wreck your brain, consider that the speaker assumed that you knew something and they omitted it… didn’t say it.
  • It is something that you don’t know. And you don’t know what it is. You don’t know that you don’t know it. You don’t know that the knowledge of that is missing. It’s missing that it’s missing. 2

    What should you do? Ask the speaker: is there anything you assumed I knew, and therefore you didn’t say it, didn’t explain it?
  • That will point the speaker to look at their assumptions… and more often than not, they will find what they didn’t say thinking it was common knowledge.
  • It happens to me all the time.
  • Another principle that asked to be revealed, a principle that allows you to choose what to do with your life, who to be with, what advice to follow, is this:
  • Unless you are happy, no one is happy.
  • What does this mean?
  • The context for this principle was: the world, family, seems to expect you to do things that you don’t enjoy to do. And it seems that meeting others’ expectations of you is important.
  • But it is a misunderstanding of “the need to meet the expectations of others” basic human need.
  • It only asks you to meet society’s expectations of obeying laws, being decent, not stepping on toes, not hoard, and things like that.
  • It may also mean not to bring children to the world you are not willing to support.
    It may also mean not to live on handouts… to earn your way, carry your own load.
  • But it definitely doesn’t mean pleasing everyone’s every whim.
  • The need to meet the expectations of others is misinterpreted by most people… and form their identity of martyr syndrome, feeling misunderstood, unappreciated, and such.
  • “The need to meet the expectations of others” is a stepping stone to the next need in the hierarchy of meeting your own expectation… but you can’t get there if what you expect of yourself is being liked, being loved, etc.
  • So you have no Self independent of others, and therefore you are a non-entity… But because it is against nature to be this way, you are unhappy, and full of hate and anger. And spite.
  • The principle: “unless you are happy no one is happy” is a good guidance.
  • Being other than you are, living your life for others is not a happy person make… and you spread unhappiness and wretchedness with your saintliness thinly covering your hate, spite, resentment… so cut it out.
  • Here is a principle from the great sage, Rabbi Hillel: “If you are not for you then who is for you?”
  • You cannot be happy, you cannot be fulfilled if you are not for yourself, if you are not on your side.
  • Everything you want from others has no value for you unless you are also for yourself. And you’ll find that only what you gave to yourself has value for you.
  • Example: love. You can feel the love that you give yourself… but you cannot feel the love that someone is giving you. In fact, most of the time, what others give you feels like a burden, feels like a cage, feels like a trap. And it is…
  • The only thing your Real Self values is what it got through your own effort, your own love, your own brilliance.
  • And this is how to be for yourself… Others are not for you. It’s not because they are bad… it is because they have to be for themselves…
  • And if you add here the previous principle: if they are for you in spite of their self interest, then the “if you are not happy, no one is happy” kicks in: they are self-sacrificing… and bring wretchedness to you.
  • Here is a principle I live by. this principle is an extension of the “If I am not happy, no one is happy”
  • I won’t do anything for money that I would not do for free.
  • Meaning: if I am not for me doing that “something”… I am violating many of my principles… I have to have a self-interest in doing anything.
  • Why? Because that is how to be normal. When you are self-sacrificing, you work against nature, you are killing life, the grass doesn’t grow where you walk.
  • The current humanity, the one that is destroying the planet, is self-sacrificing. Even politicians, even billionaires…
  • Don’t argue. Just get it… Just look at the wretchedness…
  • The last principle I have learned to live by around age nine, when I saw men hanging from lampposts is this:
  • The only thing that belongs to you is what is inside. And that is the only value.
  • No possessions, no relationships, not even life belongs to you.
  • Everything inside is sacred, everything from the outside is ordinary and ornery. No value.
  • This is the hardest principle to follow, especially if your activity, as it should be, interacts with the world outside… you produce something, you effect people, you create something.
  • Being able to cut the dependency on your results is the ultimate step in choosing what is value, and what is “bling”.
  • I started to be happy when I managed to cut this last dependency.
  • For years I had to have a conversation FOR this separation every Sunday, in my Sunday call.
  • It seems that I haven’t had to have this conversation for quite a while now… Nothing changed outside… what has changed is the inside.

Read more from Sophie Benshitta Maven at Raise Your Vibration with Sophie


Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Sophie Benshitta Maven

Publish at Raise your vibration true empath, coach, publisher, mad scientist, living a life that is worth living