Self-love, self-hate… let’s dig deep on these, shall we?

Integrity is an inside job. It is between you and yourself.

Everyone has two selves, one that is perfect, and the other that is flawed.

The perfect one is generous, loving, unconditionally. It is compassionate.

The flawed one KNOWS, i.e. assumes that it is judged, looked down upon, and is full of hatred, anger, fear, anxiety, rebellion, and expects to be loved and accepted the way it is… and even though is loved, and accepted… it can only feel its own emotions.

This is so with every emotion. You can’t feel the love that is coming towards you. You can only feel the love that you feel for the other, Your love. Your anger. Your hate.

So no matter how much the perfect self loves the flawed self, the flawed self will feel judged… hated, despised, etc.

I have been observing my clients and my students, and there is one common characteristic that only varies in intensity: and that is self-hate… and stinginess towards self… as in punishing the self for not being perfect.

In technical terms: every time you disappoint yourself, you don’t live up to your own expectations of yourself, you hate yourself and punish yourself.