What’s blocking you from having a fulfilled life?

Sophie Benshitta Maven
10 min readAug 4, 2019
orphaned fawn

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and
do that. Because what the world needs is people who come alive. ~Nelson Mandela

There is a word in Hungarian. It is very expressive, a word I ponder… a lot.

It is “elanyatlanodik”. If I want to translate, so I don’t lose the root, it means becoming a motherless orphan.

The word indicates that a child, at any age, goes through a fundamental loss when they lose the mother.

Half of my students, in some emotional way, lost their mother, the other half would have been better off losing their mother.

What do I mean?

Let me use myself as an example: I had a mother. Physically. But I got no nurturing from her. She cooked, but that is not nurturing. I got beatings, frowns, verbal abuse, name calling. It would have been better for me to physically lose a mother. I would be able to grieve, and keep my self-worth about me…

  • Other mothers, in my student group, were users. They used their child for whatever they wanted, or needed, or fancied.

As someone to dump upon, complain to, or someone to proved at a young age, or steal wood from others. To save the day. To influence the father to come back to them.

  • Or yet other mothers pushed down, “disciplined” their child, so they can feel better about themselves, or to look better to others.

All cruel and unusual punishment, in my world. Not wrong, but not easy to become a person with this burden…

  • Fathers can be real cruel. If they are worthless… with that. If they are “worthy”, with that.

It seems that a parent’s job, judging from their behavior, is to pass on the damage the parent received from their parents.

And it seems that my students are, unconsciously, following this “tradition”… pass the damage on to their kids.



Sophie Benshitta Maven

Publish at Raise your vibration www.yourvibration.com true empath, coach, publisher, mad scientist, living a life that is worth living